The "Peter" Life

Right before coming to Mexico, I went to youth camp with The Ridge Youth group. At camp, the speaker was talking about Peter, and how we all can see ourselves in his mistakes and his oh-so-evident humanity. I’ve never really seen myself as a Peter. I’m not hotheaded. I’m don’t like to make rash decisions. I’m not overly emotional. As the week at camp went on, though, the speaker made some points and comparisons that have become so clear in my own life as a missionary.

Luke 5:1-11 talks about how Peter and his companions were told to cast their nets and fish. Peter and his companions said that they had already tried fishing without any luck, but they listened to Jesus, and they caught so many fish their nets were breaking. Then Jesus asked them to leave it all behind and follow him. Peter did so. If I were asked to give up fishing for forever, it would not be a big deal to me; but when you look at it knowing that fishing was everything to Peter (his livelihood, his job, his future) it’s a little mind-blowing. Not only that, but he had just caught more fish than he had ever caught before; probably enough to support himself for a while. Being called to the mission field is a lot like this. It’s the willingness to walk away from a boatload of things to do what God has called one to do. When I was in High School as a missionary kid, I was so bitter about the things I felt my family had sacrificed to be missionaries (imagine if Peter had children, how they might feel about his walking away from the fish), and I had vowed never to become involved in ministry myself. How wrong I was. As the years have passed I have grown in my faith and come to love ministry. Anyone who works in ministry, though, knows that it sometimes comes with sacrifices. About a week before my move back to Mexico my heart became so heavy with the sadness of the things I was walking away from. Friends, family, my church, my youth group, the ministries I’m involved in, and much more. Let me be clear, this is not a pity party. There are so many rewards that come with the willingness to walk away from things. The process, however, is where the doubt and fear appear. It is also where the lesson takes place. No matter how many times we are asked to walk away from our boat full of promises/dreams/plans, it doesn’t get easier. God takes care of those who go through with it. If we pry our fingers away from the things we narrow-mindedly think we need, we may be shown a bigger picture. So, I can live without Dr. Pepper, knowing that the things God has in store here are so much bigger than me.

Matthew 14:22-34 gives the account of when Jesus walked on water and Peter walked with him. I’ve heard this story countless times, and often it has been told as a cautionary tale. “Have more faith.” “Don’t sink like Peter.” The speaker at camp brought up a point that I have heard way less often. Peter was the one that asked to walk on water; he took that initiative. As soon as he started sinking, instead of turning back to the boat or trying to swim on his own, he reached out to Jesus, knowing well that he would be saved. Everyone sinks. Everyone doubts. What we do in that moment, however, defines the outcome. How does this apply to living on the mission field? Well, I was so busy and preoccupied with things that needed to be done before my move to Mexico that it wasn’t until I was in the air that I panicked. I was on the last leg of my journey. It was dark and stormy outside the plane as we began our descent into Oaxaca. The clouds billowed around the airplane like waves in a storm, and the plane started to drop in altitude. The clouds started to rise above the plane, and my mind began to drown in fear and doubt. All the bitterness I had felt as a kid toward the culture of ministry I had been brought up in came back. The annoyances, the sacrifices, the difficulties, everything came bubbling to the surface, and I dreaded landing. Why had I decided to move to Oaxaca? Why had I quit my job and left my house? Why had I said goodbye to people I didn’t want to say goodbye to? Who’s idea had it been for me to be a missionary? The ocean of regret was closing in above my head, and I had to decide how to react. Do I turn back to the boat of safety? Do I try to do it with my own skills and knowledge? Or do I turn to God. It isn’t bravery or holiness that makes one take that first step onto the water. It isn’t wrong to then start to sink. It’s the understanding of our need for a savior, and the faith that He will come through for us that defines our walk with God. I don’t know if it get’s easier, but I will fiercely hold on to the promise that I have a Savior that will carry me through the waves. I’m reminded of that song, “take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger…”

So apparently, I do identify with Peter. Our personalities may have differed, but I’m oh-so-evidently human as well. I’m a bit scared and a bit lost. I’m out of my comfort zone and feel unprepared. But I am not alone, and I am so excited to see what God will do in Oaxaca and extremely grateful I get to witness it!

What is it that God has asked you to walk away from? And as you walk away, as you take that leap of faith, will you reach out to your savior?

What has happened this month:

-We had VBS in Cuilapam, a village near Oaxaca city. The church there was planted by leaders within our base church, and everyone (youth, kids, adults) take turns going out to visit and minister and grow the leaders in Cuilapam.

We had an average of 35 kids daily. We saw some salvations and a lot of connections between the church members and the community. The snacks we handed out were many of those kids’ only meal that day, and the crafts we made were handled like treasures by the kiddos. It was an amazing week!

-We then had VBS at our home church, Lluvias de Gracia. It was so fun to see the church leaders playing tag and singing silly songs with the kids from the community around our church.

-My family was asked to help out on a missionary conference. My dad spoke on prayer, and it was a really great time for the group of missionaries to spend time praying together. Often times pastors and missionaries don’t have as much time to learn and grow themselves, so having that time away was restful and encouraging to them.

Prayer requests:

-School starts in two weeks! I start work next week, and it will be a busy week of preparation and organization. Pray for wisdom as I begin teaching High School literature. Pray for patience and love to pour into my students.

-The political situation in Oaxaca is not getting better. The teachers blockade roads and stores, and there have been many confrontations. Pray for peace and safety.

-Pray for the churches, missionaries, and ministries taking place in Oaxaca. This state is still very much closed to the Gospel, so perseverance through the adversity is much needed. Pray for resilience and strength.

I know this blog was long…wait til I write a book! I’ll keep you all updated!

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement!

-Ruth